Gut Check

Its 3:20 am on Tuesday March 7th. It's my sisters b-day and, incidentally, tomorrow will be mine.

I still have trouble sleeping. I'm tired drowning in my own grief and self-pity. I've been numb and unhappy for a better part of 8 months and in the last month, life stomped on me.

In the last nine months I let myself entertain unrealistics wants. It eventually tore me apart. I wanted to go to law school. I wanted to get into management. I didn't want to leave Regina. I didn't want to leave my family. I didn't want to leave my friends.... the list goes on.

I need to let go... Its time to sacrifice

It starts here. No more excuses. I have failed... I have failed miserably but failure is temporary.

I will not put my life on hold forever and I am willing to fail and embrace rejection as many times as need be!

These are my goals:

1. Score between 160-170 on the LSAT
2. Get accepted to a Law School that has a international law or human rights program
3. Find a job that pays equitably (that i wouldn't mind doing) even if it is not in Regina.
4. Move out... even if it is outside of Regina and Saskatchewan
5. Get back down to 175 lbs
6. Let go of my grief

You will be my witness... my accountability. I have announced it. I can't imagine anything more humilating than failing in front of an audience. I'm ready for the consequences. No excuses.

This is no journey, there will be no first step. This is a war.... a bloody fight to the bitter end.

This is my comeback.... THE comeback. No Plan Bs. No escape.

Time to pick a fight...