Some perspective

okay... where was I, oh right... perspective.

I can understand how some people would lose sight about why I went to BC in the first place. Here's a quick flashback. I just bombed my first lsat and my dreams of law school were shattered. A month later, i already began the interview process with SaskTel with the plan on becoming a full time employee there (since law school seemed like a pipe dream at that point). I cannot recall a lower moment in my life. I was completely sapped of all motivation, i was nothing but dead weight at that point.

Everyone did their best to keep me in good spirits. I heard things like "you'll get it next time" and "law school isn't everything." But lets face it, it was everything to me. I had been chasing this dream since highschool, that's a good six years. Everyone that knew me...that knew of me... knew that i wanted to go to law school. Law school was the ultimate goal... my dream... my purpose. On top of that i was hit hard with my grandmother's death, who had been my greatest source of inspiration. Imagine that you lost your inspiration and your purpose all in one day, and then add every stage of of self pity, self loathing, depression, frustration, and sadness... and you might understand where I was at that particular point in my life. I was all sorts of fucked up. I basically meandered through... day after day. Empty. Souless. I was dying slowly, by the hour... minute.... second and I didn't care anymore. This went on for what seemed like forever. When your in complete darkness there is no way to tell time. You just know its pitch black and you can't remember which way is forward or which way is up.

When I got that call from U of T, it sparked something in me. I felt motivated, driven and focused. I had a second shot. I knew i probably didn't deserve it, but i welcomed it. I had swore on my grandmothers casket that if i get a second chance, i would not half ass it. I would give it everything i had, lay it all on the line. I would bare my soul to the world and welcome judgement. I would not hide or shy away from failure. I would fight... I would fight to win.

So i sought out the best LSAT course I could afford and I moved to BC. I left my job, friends, and family... for one dream. I hope my grandmother considers that to be enough to honor my promise. I didn't leave to get into U of T. I left to reclaim a my sense of purpose. I had lost a dream... I was there to get it back. I remember the exact moment when i got that back. It was the day I got my acceptance letter from University of Saskatchewan. That letter was my redeemer. A few weeks later, I was lucky enough to get one from UBC.

I was never there just to get into U of T. I was there to get into law school at all costs... and, incidentally, U of T was the only school that seem to give a damn about me. I got into UBC law school and i'm going to a world famous school with one of the biggest law faculties in Canada. I really think i've turned the corner in my life, i've hit some sort of sweet spot. Everything seems so crystal clear about where I should head. I found clarity... finally.

Yeah, i lost a few battles along the way but I won the war... and thats enough for me.