One wasted summer

I had hoped I would spend this summer having fun. After all, I did finish my degree. Sadly, I spent almost all my summer working. But, here’s the thing. How long can a human being function without a REAL vacation. I know I can go six years and running to this date. How much more can I go? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m headed down a dangerous road where at the end awaits a nervous break down. I think I can make it through this year. I don’t think I can make it through law/grad school without one though where pressure & expectations will be twice as high as my undergraduate degree. There are no vacations in law school and there will be no vacations after law school either. If I don’t take a vacation, the next opportunity will likely be another 5 years from now… I don’t think I can go 11 years without a vacation.


So, I’m in desperate shape. I think the last time I had a REAL vacation was in….hmmm… errr… I think was 6 years ago when I went to Vancouver to visit my aunt. It has been a long time. Sure, I’ve taken road trips here and there, but they were never more than 3 day weekends. Sadly, it doesn’t look like I’ll be taking a vacation anytime soon. It’s the busiest month of work and summer is almost over. In addition, the few friends I do have, are in no condition to take a vacation either. They have either taken one already, too poor to go anywhere, or have ridiculous scheduling conflicts. I could visit my sister and relatives in Vancouver, but family vacations tend not to be vacations at all. In most cases, I’d would prolly spend my entire time in Vancouver shuffled from family to family… all of whom I haven’t seen in six years. Plus, I’m sure they’re all dying to meet Heather. I can’t even imagine how intimidating it would for Heather to meet all of my family in Vancouver with one blow. I know I’m long overdue for a visit to Vancouver, but its no place for me to take a vacation.

I could go to Toronto. I know Heather would love to go. However, it would be me that would have the intimidating experience of meeting her ENTIRE family in one short trip. They all, literally, live in Toronto. It would be nice to see… but it wouldn’t be much of a vacation. I know I need to meet them and I want to… but I think I deserve some time to myself before I go jump into that fire.

I could go on a vacation alone… how pointless is that. Yeah I know its pretty common, but have you ever noticed what kind of people actually do it, though. There are usually people who are lonely, confused and need to “find themselves.” I am not suffering from that. I know who I am and if I needed to “find” myself I’d get a map. So, vacation by myself… out of the question. Half the point of a vacation is to share the experience with someone… the other half is sharing the memories. The common experience marks the real value of a vacation… and right now… there’s no one available.